12/8/2008 Wives, you can't be saying "man that brother still ain't changed
lord" because he just got saved and haven't been saved too for long; give
him some time. You haven't fairly given him or the Lord enough time to fully
work, and just because he got saved does not mean that all of a sudden
everything is going to change overnight. Nope; The born again experience
is not just some magic zapping trick and then suddenly every life issue or
life problem just falls off a person or a marriage. You can cause even more
problems in a marriage if you are applying too much pressure on a person
to change just to please you. You don't want him to change so that he can
please God, but you want him to change for you and that is so selfish. If he
will change for God first, then he'll be pleasing to you in the long run also.
Marriage requires some work. It also will require two people working
together and both parties involved to constantly stay in change mode. You
are also going to have to change and adapt as well. You're beating that
brother up every day and telling everybody how he hasn't changed and what
he is or is not doing, but when was the last time that you checked your fruit
tree just to see just how pleasing you are to the Lord. You are always
saying that he need to change, but let me be the first to tell you that you
need to change to Sister; because you have a problem with your
submission. You don't like to submit to him at all. (
See Ephesians 5:22-24
and verse 33, and also look at 1 Peter 3:1-6
) If you have got some
marriage counsel, then give it time to work. Don't be talking about 24 hours
later “man that Negro still hasn't changed.” It may take some time to
register and to sink in, but meanwhile you need to change with all that
murmuring and all that complaining. No one wants to hear all that mess all
of the time, not even the Lord, because he is only moved by your faith and
not all of your complaining and strife.
See also; Philippians 2:14, Hebrews
11:6, Proverbs 19:13, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 25:24, Proverbs 27:15, and
Proverbs 14:1
. Now you see how that you can be a help or hindrance, a
stepping stone or a stumbling block, a bridge forward or a burden. You can
either help or hurt your husband by your words and your actions. Why not
help to build him up as well as your household, rather than tearing it down.
And make sure
husband that you are building your wife up with kind words
of edification and gratitude, and don't tear her down with mean words from
Hell. If she need to be corrected, don't worry, the Lord will see to it that she
will get corrected; That is why you have preachers and the Holy Spirit of
God. You have to remember that you don't have another child to take care
of; she is your wife in life, not your child. If you treat her like a child, then
you will get a child like response out of her like some cold, hateful, vengeful,
and spiteful words. You'll also need to practice being a little more loving,
caring, sharing, and supportive of your wife. She may not have it all
together in every area and she may not be altogether perfect, but you ain't
neither, and if you think that you are, then you're already deceived there
Hero! You fooled yourself into thinking that lie. We can all see that you are
not perfect, even your wife, your family, parents, neighbors, church
members, and kids can all see that you aren't perfect yet. Everyone knows
that you are far from perfection, but you are the only one that cannot see
your own faults, but you don't have a problem with seeing your wife's  and
everybody else's faults. You like to beat your wife up about her faults and
you ain't perfect. Get that big ole beam out your eye first, and she will be
glad to listen to you, but as long as, you are being a hypocrite; that's all I’m
a say. Oh' lord-d-d-d! Did he say that? Sure did! And to the husband and
the wife; do not waste your whole life and marriage  being mad with each
other. The two of you must work together. Marriage is work and it's time
that you put aside your differences and work together to progress the
family and the cause of Jesus in the earth. If you will take care of his
business, then he'll take care of you, but you have to make sure that you
walk according to his plans and not your own will and selfish plan. Study the
scriptures for yourself and see how you can apply them to your own life,
and do not use them to beat your spouse up with them by always telling her
what the bible says for her only, but you are not listening or taking heed.
Apply the scriptures to your life, and let her study the word and apply them
to her own life; you'll get along better that way. There is nowhere in the
Bible that it tells you to beat each other up with the Scriptures. That's the
Holy Spirit’s job; his job is to convict you with the truth if you are in error or
out of order. He'll correct you, but you guys need to just work on loving
another. If you will practice loving one another as much as you fight each
other with words and Scriptures, then you would have one of the best
marriages in the world. The reason you fight like that is because you want
to control each other; both of you guys are going to have to change. It
does takes two to make things go right (
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) Oh' yeah,
keep people that don't like your spouse out of your marriage and out of
your business and family affairs and you will stay married; you know those
nosey strife causing family and friends that always cause confusion and
division. They do not want you to be happy and they are not for your
marriage because they hate your spouse. They'll do everything within their
power to split you up, then after that they'll turn on you too, because it was
never about you. It was about your spouse and even your choice of mate,
and they didn't care for your choice of mate. Keep the faith and keep the

With Kingdom Love,

Roderick Grimes